Today I want to write about something that has been on my mind an awful lot lately. I want to write about that one thing that effects every person on earth. The only thing that can make you feel completely whole and completely lost at the same time. The thing that makes you do, say, and feel things that you never imagined. That my friends, is love. There are many types of love, but I want to focus on just one. The mushy gushy, I wanna hold your hand, kind of love.
I often think of how difficult it is to find another person who is equally infatuated with you as you are with them. What are the chances of finding someone who is attracted to you and your quirks, interests, personality, etc. and for you to feel the same way about them? Finding someone that fits you perfectly is challenging and I believe if you do find that heart pounding love, you've found something rare and beautiful.
I think of love and what it really means, and from my limited experience, I came up with some ideas. When you love someone, you feel for them. When they get excited over something, you're equally as happy just because of the smile on their face. You share emotions. Sadness, happiness, sorrow, anger, and regret. When you love someone, you try to take some of the load off their shoulders. If that means taking on some of their struggles, you'll do so. Love means selflessness and forgiveness. It means leaving them a note and their favorite treat just so they know you're thinking of them. It's giving that "I understand" or "Are you okay?" look when you two are in a crowd of people. It means letting go of the past, taking each other by the hand, and moving forward.
So what happens if you find "the one" and they don't actually end up being "the one"? You swore all the late night phone calls and kisses that took your breath away were proof enough that you would be "together forever". It's funny though, because saying or thinking that suddenly seems so naive. You have to let go and start all over again. You have move forward, but this time no one is holding your hand. You have to pick up the pieces and put them back together, only hoping that one day you can see the world the way you used to see it. Your younger heart that had never been broken, had a hope and passion that is hard to relocate after aching for so long.
Holding onto the past is easy, because it means it's not really over. The relationship, the memories, and everything that you had before. And though it's not easy, I believe letting go is best thing to do. If something ended, it probably means you outgrew it. Just like Barbies and toy trucks, high school, and all nighters; things change because you change. Holding onto any of those wouldn't be progress. You can't keep looking back, hoping one day you can have it all again. I think if you truly let go, forgive and forget, and stay strong you can have it all again. It will just be with someone else in a different way, but this time you may never have to say goodbye.
Life is full of unexpected experiences and somewhere along the way there will be heart break. This doesn't mean you will always have to feel that empty feeling in the pit of your stomach. Just because your heart has been damaged, doesn't mean that someday you won't feel that breath taking love aging.
It will never be perfect and it will never be easy, but when you finally find that relationship worth fighting for, all the heart break will make sense. You'll be the person they've been looking for their whole life because of it. Say I love you as often as possible and always remember the way they made you hope and trust again. The way they brought light back into your somewhat dim life. Never forget your first love, your first heart break, the first time you felt like it would all be okay, and the person who helped get you there.
So here's to love. The can't eat, can't sleep, can't focus, dance around my room, you hang up first and I'll call you in the morning, dream of you, Love.
-Madi
